Angry Austrailian Witch Said to Endorse Terrorizing Muggle Pen-pals via Internet

Written by - Terrance Morirana

In international news, Melanie the Meticulate (or mad if you don't quite follow her method of thinking), author of the award winning collumn Maulings in Melbourne,( run in the local Tales From Tommorow Austrialian newspaper); has recently began speaking out for upping the ante', so to speak, as the witches of yesteryear once did.

"We rarely hear about the gingerbread houses, where the witches would eat the little glutton-bunny-muggles. I miss that!" And indeed, witches who follow her collumn tend to agree.

"Oh sure, we can be timid and elusive, but mark my words the moment I started berating the muggle mayor with threats of blighting his $60,000 dollar nose job right off his face if he didn't send a crew to fix the potholes on my road, things started happening!"

Opponents to Melanie claim that eating children is not only bad because of the taste, but uncouth, and also rather fatening, considering the ample sweets their offspring have access to in todays times. In additon to this, they really don't see the point of spending so much time learning beautifying spells if they're merely going to turn into hags every time their road gets washed out.

The debates are still raging.