Niffler Literally 'Pain in the Butt'

Written by - Laura of Scarberia

An interesting and somewhat humorous report has come to the attention of the writer about a certain Niffler that was found at a gold mine in British Columbia, Canada.

It is reported that a Muggle woman, who had gone on a tour of the mine, had walked by one of the entrances and had her keys hanging out of the back pocket of her pants. One particularly shiny bit caught the attention of the Niffler and the little beast, with its affinity for shiny things, sprang upon the poor lady's behind.

When Canadian Wizard Officials arrived, the woman was in tears. Before they modified her memory, they asked her to explain what had happened and when she mentioned her keys in her back pocket were missing (along with a rather large portion of her pants), they knew exactly what sort of creature they were dealing with. Performing the memory charm on her and those around her, then kindly repairing her pants, they went off in search of the creature.

They soon found the Niffler in question a few miles away with a wizard family, happily chewing apart the woman's missing keys. When they asked the family how they came to have a Niffler (as they primarily live in Britain), they explained they had taken a trip to Scotland and found a young Niffler, alone and hungry. They had decided then to take it back home with them for their children.

The wizarding family was fined for not controlling the Niffler as it had caused a public nuisance, then the officials retrieved the keys and safely returned them to the gold mine in such a way that the woman thought she had only dropped them during her walk.

In conclusion, I think when reading this story the lesson learned is not to have any shiny objects hanging near your backside when Nifflers are near by. Unless, of course, you want them to bite your own buttocks.